A Sultan sat on his oriental mat,
In his harem in downtown Persia,
He took a sip of coffee, just a drip,
And he said to his servant Kersia.
Ah, Kersia, Kersia, curse-yah,
That's the worst cup of coffee in Persia …. ‘cos
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, from a a proper copper coffee pot,
I may be off my top but I, want a cup of coffee from a proper copper coffee pot,
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they're no good to me,
So if I can't have a proper cup of coffee, from a proper copper coffee pot,
I'll have a cup of tea.
In days of old when knights were bold,
And coffee was much cheaper,
Dick Turpin rode to a coffee house,
Pistols pointed at the coffee house keeper.
He said, "Stand and deliver,
Can't you see I'm all a'quiver …. ‘cos"
When Bonaparte found that his hands were bound
And he lost on that Waterloo site
He gave his sword to Wellington, my Lord,
And said, "zose British can't ‘alf fight"
"Now you've had your Waterloo, sir,
Pray tell me what I‘ll have with you, sir? …. well"
Solomon and Sheba would carry on,
According the ancient scandals.
He made her a silver coffee pot,
With diamond spouts and 'andles.
Then Sheba she said “Sollie ...
"Do you think I'm off my trolley? …. 'cos”
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