I'll tell you a story 'bout a burglar man who went out to rob a house,
He crept in at the window just as quietly as a mouse,
Thinkin' of the money that he would get, as under the bed he lay,
He suddenly saw a sight that night that made his hair turn grey.
About nice o'clock an old maid came in, "oh I'm so tired" she said,
Thinkin' everything would be alright, she forgot to look under the bed,
She pulled out her teeth, and her big glass eye, and her hair came off'n her head,
That burglar man had forty fits and crawled from under the bed.
That old maid took just one glance, hung her leg up on the door,
She thought "this is my very last chance" as her bust fell to the floor,
She drew a pistol from her drawers, and to this burglar man said,
"Young man if you don't marry me, I'll blow off the top of your head".
We'll the burglar man looked all around but he had no place for to scoot,
He turned to the old maid standin' there and said "lady, for the Lord's sake shoot".
Now the burglar man he’s dead I‘m sure though I don't know where he's gone,
Up above, or down below, I'm about through singin' this song.
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